Update regarding the “So tired” post

I wrote on May 10th about how I’d been hit again by a major bout of my illness. Only one post since then, yesterday. In Swedish, too, which is a rarity. I have to admit my written Swedish has worse grammar than my written English, due to my formative years being spent abroad. Anyway. An update to my So tired post.

Turns out the flu I thought I had was a lot more serious. The illness had managed to progress further than anticipated even by the doctors, and had begun to rupture internal organs. None of my medicines had worked. The fever going up and down (between 35 celsius and 42 celsius, up and down, up and down) was my body trying to cope. It knocked out my immune system in a matter of days. I had to be taken by ambulance to a larger hospital for acute surgery. Three doctors told me operate or die, so it wasn’t a hard choice to make. Oddly, my family and fiancé took it a great deal harder than me. I was just so tired of the constant blood and misery that I just wanted it to be over with. Even when the surgeon told me that I might not make it through in a politer fashion, I was fine with it. Either way the troubles end.

Anyway, the surgery went better than well. Unfortunately, the stress my body had been put through these previous months, coupled with virtually zero immune system functionality had me hit with a number of follow-up diseases. I won’t bother to list the symptoms or the things I’ve gone through, but I thank God (sorry Humanists) that my fiancé and family were there through four weeks of hell, as well as all my friends who wanted to come and visit but couldn’t and so sent constant SMS greetings instead.

Most of all, my fiancé reminds me of a quote from an angel in the campy, bloody, and utterly wonderful series Supernatural. “I’m the one who gripped you tight and dragged you from Perdition.” She did.

I’m out of the hospital now, and hopefully this surgery will have cured the disease as best as possible. I’d rather not go through this more times. I’ll find out for sure on Tuesday. I just hope it goes well. Not sure if I can handle the knowledge that it has spread, if it has, but the human psyche is able to bear quite a bit. I just don’t want to test mine any more.


~ by Escaping Perdition on June 20, 2009.

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