So tired

The past few months have been very difficult, on and off. The past three weeks have been a nightmare, with me bouncing in and out of the hospital like a yo-yo. The Swedish medical system has gone beyond disappointing me and leaving me with a sour taste of disgust. Of course I make sure to smile and be polite. The nurses and doctors are good people who want to help. But they are understaffed, under-qualified, and underfunded. Wrong dosages, poor scheduling, and a chronic inability to ever admit that they’ve fucked up. I’m just so very tired and exhausted. I’ve lost around 10 kilos (i was in good shape before), and I can’t remember the last time I got more than a few hours of consecutive sleep. Aside from my “regular” illness that they can’t handle, I seem to have been hit with something flu-like as well. They can’t diagnose it, so they can’t treat it. Instead there’s test after humiliating test by know-it-all doctors who really play Hangman more than actually perform science. “Okay, how about an E? Is there an E in this disease?”

I’m just so tired. I am grateful for my beloved fiancé, my great friends, my wonderful parents. I don’t think I’d make it without them.


~ by Escaping Perdition on May 10, 2009.

One Response to “So tired”

  1. […] than my written English, due to my formative years being spent abroad. Anyway. An update to my So tired […]

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