How To Be a Socialist

In order to be an accepted socialist, there are numerous things to do, and certain commandments that must be followed with all the fanaticism of the ultra-orthodox.

1. Hate America. Everything that’s wrong in the world is because of America.

2. Hate Israel. Everything that’s wrong in the world is because of Israel’s America-influenced policies.

3. Love America’s enemies. Hey, Osama had his reasons! Iran needs dialogue! Chavez wants the best for his people! Cuba is paradise!

4. Making money is evil. Living off of other people’s money is good.

5. Criminals are victims, too, and need our help and sympathy.

6. The death penalty is always bad, abortions are always great, and humans are a plague on the planet.

Believe this devoutly, and you’re good to go, and a welcome part of the insanity of the Socialist movement.


~ by Escaping Perdition on April 20, 2009.

2 Responses to “How To Be a Socialist”

  1. You should replace “Israel” with “Jews” and you will get a more accurate picture of the socialist mind.
    Some call themselves international-socialists and other national-socialists, just two sides of the same coin!

  2. Truer words have never been spoken.

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