You Know You’re Swedish When…..

You talk with your friends about how evil and biased Fox News is, despite not actually being able to watch Fox News in Sweden.

You get your unbiased, factual, objective news from government-run SVT.

You think donations to scientists from corporations are suspect, while supporting government grants without a second thought.

You believe that 14 years in prison is a “life sentence”.

You believe that people who don’t actually work pay for tax cuts.

You dislike America, yet watch American movies and television, and listen to American bands.

You can’t understand why Americans want a mean capitalist system when they can have a welfare state like Sweden.

You spend more time commenting on other countries’ politics than your own, just like government-run TV tells you to.

You believe that if someone is suffering, it is the duty of government to help.

You also believe that since the government is doing the helping, you don’t need to.

You believe every other industrialized country has month-long waiting lists for health care, too.

You think Christianity is worse than Islam, and point to the Inquisition 400 years ago as proof.

You think tolerance is extremely important, so you think it sensible to censor everyone who isn’t as tolerant as you.

You curse the government for not bailing out ailing auto makers, while driving to work in a foreign car and cursing the automobile industry for carbon emissions.

You think carbon dioxide is the source of a coming global catastrophe and want it banned, while exhaling carbon dioxide with every breath.

You loudly proclaim that all cultures are equal, but different, while secretly terrified to be robbed or raped by those scary immigrants, none of whom you are friends with.

You think it is far wiser that young children be raised in government pre-schools by low-income handlers who barely graduated high school, than to be home with their parents.

You think having an accent means being less competent, though you’d never say so aloud.

You honestly believe Sweden is a middle-of-the-road country, politically.

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~ by Escaping Perdition on March 2, 2009.

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